Pride Guide 1999 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

Pride Guide '99

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BOB ROEHR

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Leslie Sadasivan accepts GLSEN's 1998 Pathfinder Award in Oakland, California last September.

"I had to tell his story. Because, unfortunately, it's a story of so many others."

One mother's journey from heartbreak to activism

by Doreen Cudnik

Readers first became acquainted with Leslie Sadasivan in a February 21, 1997 Gay People's Chronicle story about her 14-yearold son's suicide, "Why Did Robbie Kirkland Have to Die?"

It was the first of many stories about Robbie's struggle with his homosexuality, as Sadasivan found a way in the midst of her grief to tell her son's story to as many media outlets as possible, in an effort to prevent such a tragedy from ever happening to another family.

Stories in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, Akron Beacon Journal, Ladies Home Journal and others followed, taking Robbie's story to an audience of millions. The CBS show 60 Minutes filmed a segment with her (although it never aired), as did CNN and the gay and lesbian newsmagazine In the Life.

One of Sadasivan's first attempts at public speaking came at the 1997 Cleveland Gay and Lesbian Pride Rally, which was dedicated to Robbie's memory.

Her voice barely above a whisper at that time, Sadasivan now finds herself comfortable behind a microphone. She has become an outspoken advocate for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth, and a familiar face at GLBT community functions.

She is currently involved with GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network--she was the recipient of their 1998 Pathfinder Award; P-FLAG, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays; Dignity, a group for gay and lesbian Catholics and their families; the Human Rights Campaign; and the Cleveland Lesbian and Gay Center's "Safe Schools Are For Everyone" or SSAFE program.

She is involved in speaking about

Ohio House Bill 226 on youth and suicide, and has been invited to speak at Pride in St. Louis, Mo. this year and at the Millenium March on Washington in April, 2000.

She is also talking to several authors about the possibility of writing Robbie's story as a book geared towards young adults.

We spoke recently about how her life has changed since her son's death, her thoughts this Pride season, and her dreams for a better future for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Doreen Cudnik: The first time we met was shortly after Robbie's death. How did you get through that difficult time?

Leslie Sadasivan: My whole focus since Robbie's death has been to provide a balance for the family-for Alexandria [who just turned 7 years old on June 8] and Peter [her husband Dr. Peter Sadasivan.] Many of the early projects just came to me, and ifI could do them, I would. In addition to you, people got to know your entire family through the many stories that

were published about Robbie. How'is everyone doing these days?

Danielle [her oldest daughter] will be coming with me to the GLSEN Cleveland Awards Dinner [June 9] to give out the Robbie Kirkland Memorial Scholarship, given in Robbie's memory.

engaged to her boyfriend of five years, Kevin. She graduated from Miami University and took a job with Teach for America. She'll be moving to New York. She just wants to make a difference in young people's lives. Her focus is towards youth because of Robbie.

Claudia [her middle daughter] is in her last year at Ohio University. She's finishing a year early because she's in their honors program. Her major is social work with a concentration on youth-

because of Robbie, once again. She wants to reach out to young people.

And how is Alexandria doing? [Robbie's youngest sister was just 4 when he died.]

She misses Robbie. When Danielle got engaged to Kevin we said, 'You're going to have another brother.' So she's happy, but she knows it's not Robbie. We have a little beanie baby halo bear-an angel-which represents Robbie, that sleeps with her.

It's still hard. She came home from school recently saying that boys and girls were making fun of Tinky Winky because he's gay and she was upset because she felt they were insulting her brother. I sent her teacher a list of things educators can do around the Tinky Winky thing from the GLSEN web site, but I don't think she used it.

Lesile Sadasivan, with daughters Danielle, Danielle is now Alexandria and Claudia, left to right.

How did your becoming an activist initially help you through your grief? Actually, I've never felt that I'm doing any of this to deal with my grief. I've just always felt that I didn't have a choice that I had to think of the others like Robbie that were out there suffering, that I had to tell his story. Because, un-

Robbie Kirkland in his eigth-grade school portrait.

fortunately, it's a story of so many others. I was just thinking today how my heart is so with the gay community. Robbie was so much more than gay, but unfortunately for him that was like his Achilles heel-

that was the thing he couldn't deal with. But my heart is so much with gay people, because they're still so discriminated against. And I, from the safety of my heterosexuality, can speak out about these issues.

How has your activism changed you as a person?

Since September, I've been working about two days a week as a substitute teacher in the Cleveland public school system. I'm a registered nurse and I still work one weekend a month at a nursing home, but I just feel called to reach out to youth. So teaching is another way-a more active way-that I can do that.

I'm also enrolled at Cleveland State and I'm going for my master's degree in early childhood education. As a result of substitute teaching, I've had so many opportunities to step in and teach about diversity in an age-appropriate way.

How has your activism changed you as a public person? Well, when you first interviewed me, if you remember, I said how uncomfortable I was in the role as public speaker. I'm still very uncomfortable in the role, so I'm amazed at what I have done in front of people. I laugh to myself and I think of Robbie and say to myself, he would never believe that I would do any of this! So I'm amazed and my husband says to me that he's amazed I'm able to do this.

Every time before I go, I still get nervous. But I pray to God and Continued on page B-3